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here in a world of lies, you are the truth. OMG. HASTA LA VISTA PRONTO CHEEKY MAMA. GUYS GUESS WHOS BACK.
ive been cut off from people fer damn damn long & now ive returned, a whole jaw itchier. i need to meet the people i was used to meeting so frequently. i need to hear their voices, your voices your laughter your barks. previously fer a month to be exact i faded away, grousing in a garden where no fruits could be borne. i wrestled with animals everyday, pigs, geese, fishes. all around me was a scrummage of noise & mess, & everyday i thought to myself, what a wonderful world.
& so the new year was ushered in without my gracing. throughout new year i worked. i fed hungry men & women who brought their hungry boys & girls to feed. i gritted my teeth in the kitchen fer a polished smile out in the dining hall, i put up with the coarseness of course with the naivety of youth, & slowly i found myself in the company of big-hearted cooks, older men who have seen half the world, older people who could sense my frustration & took pains to assuage it. i took refuge in the kitchen & only went out when the beepers came in. beepers are called beepers cos their names must be censored fer readers younger than myself. beepers are older ladies who push their weight around geese & pigs, they curse as they speak, & speak as they swear. beepers snap at us when we're talking, then they scowl as they turn behind the pillar to smoke, to smoke twenty sticks a day. sometimes, most times, i get caught in the same lift with beepers, & its four stories to the locker common area. as a matter of fact, over time i have learnt to hold my breath fer four stories, passive smoking can kill, you know. beepers are selfish, therefore.
one night i got wrenched into a staring match with a beeper. usually i bow down & retreat into chores subordinately. that night it just didnt feel right. i stared back & i spoke back. i didnt care that hungry men were watching mouth agape, rice half chewed. i stood up unlike myself & the beeper gave a severe look of condesecension followed by a barrage of dialect. i was disgusted both by her & myself fer entertaining her & the hungry guests. i walked away, to the kitchen. that night after work i wrote my resignation letter. i decided i didnt want to feel lousy anymore. many reasons have been shouting at me to tender, in fact. i guess it was inertia. now they're asking me to go back, & again, thankfully, inertia forbids.
so ive learnt. im braver now & yet, more afraid. i feel exposed to roughed ends & im reluctant to meet them again. i know i never liked waiting, though. not everything deserves patience. big eyes, big hair, & an irrefutable certaint y about it.
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