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| all im up against out in this world |
| 11.30.05 (11:16 pm) [edit] |
was supposed to meet g today.
was supposed to meet team tonight.
was supposed to look forward to tomorrow.
where am i now.
i suppose a total slap change of plans doused by the drivel of parents can do this. what can ground one, can frustrate one, like this. i stayed home all day. i refused to go fer lunch with them. i refused to speak to her, at her, whatever you call it. i returned my house keys as she instructed. i denied all eye contact just so she wouldnt see my anger. which hasnt gone down much beneath the surface since last night when she recalled my phone. so i sit, & i have been thinking what the hell has gone wrong. all i have come up with is a throbbing fist & a pen dry from scrawling a very first poem of this kind.
*
[i]how much is silence ?
you see it in shops but
one hardly sees it as a proper gift
for anyone.
how much is silence ?
it cost me two dinners & two lunches
& some toy apartment.
how much is silence ?
it depends
really, if they are
the more fragile ones or
the ones the hardest to break,
to take.
how much is silence ?
ive enough savings for it will you
wrap it up for me
in a translucent box-
no, no personal message thanks,
from,
from,
just write
santa.
and,
merry christmas to the mummy.[/i]
*
while trying to find a place to be lost in, i long left here.
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| get out right now |
| 11.30.05 (5:23 am) [edit] |
SCREW YOU, BOTH OF YOU.
dont msg/call my handphone anymore everyone. my number is being used by adults. who took it from me in a show of power. if theres anything call my house. close ones will know the number. im sorry man, this time its crazy.
my god, i swear its war.
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| i dont care about the presents underneath the xmas tree |
| 11.25.05 (5:24 am) [edit] |
well hello, i see we've all been to hell & back.
i watched sth my mum borrowed, its called sylvia. its about plath, yes.
[i]Dying
Is an art, like everything else,
I do it exceptionally well.
I do it so it feels like hell.
I do it so it feels real.
I guess you could say I've a call[/i].
it sorta got me, like, oh shit she has real issues, man.
not too far a note from this, a's are over fer some. ive got one more left but i must say whatever has been ongoing this month has been, fiendish. one more & we boogie. till then a part of me is still withheld, dang.
just like heaven, day was electric. bummed over at j's place & watched duplex ! oh man, its damn funny i think my laughter hit 1403965874 decibels. no, really. ben stiller is so damn funny my gosh HAHAHAHAHAH- little dickeeeeeee HAHAH oh shit this is cannot MY DRAWERS ! HAHAH. (okay stop stop) so, o'er two large stuffed crusts, & a v jolly xmas platter with star-shaped munchymunchies the noon was a huge laughing matter hee (:
numb encore is a pretty darn cool track to go along.
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