sorry, thanks, thanks, sorry again. was feeling nowhere near decent yesterday, & it kept coming back, the entire flashback of the fateful finish. i wont comment on that anymore simply because ive passed on, (ive got to) & im gonna move towards the larger picture. it still hurts thinking so im gonna try and keep it off my agenda. thanks, all the same.

ive been missing alot of sleep because of the commons. not that my sleep time is in any way inversely related to the quality i churn out during the papers, regretfully. it was all just mugging in the jolly spirit of futility. a self-delusional last hug of the buddha's limb, when nothing you speed read goes in, & everything you havent read comes out. murphy was right, he was so darn right. so now they're over and my grief is numbed. im very pleased that they have ended, even more enthused knowing people have physics tmr. okay that was plain mean hahah. but i choose to be short sighted & rejoice fer now, because i deserve my rest and recreation after all the cramming, albeit in vain. lets cut the academic drivel, its getting me all teary-eyed from yawning.

just a few updates to keep my life in check.

` ive a new handphone, & a new number, & a new plan. means now i can make & answer calls. very exciting yes ? so ask me fer my new number & give me yer contact please. my address book is sad.

` dyzyd movie outing to be confirmed, girls, call me aye.

` congeniality two is out & about, need to catch it.

very tired, shall write more the next time eyelids permit.

g: time after time, time after time, 've missed you, love you, 'll see you soon. (: AM BACK.

so this is how it is like, to be the sad man, behind blue eyes.

dont ask me anything, go away.

am happy fer all the wrong reasons, i mean it.

`1. bought soya milk shampoo and hydrating conditioner from woodlands today. retail theraphy amid a scheduled study session. yash distracts me lah its her i tell you. one minute we're deceptively studious in the frigid ambience of woodlands, the next we're out of it, taking an hour break amply spilling over to two hours and more. first it was just a decent recess off to the cold storage, getting food and peanut bars. then ah, there was this cunning array of bod care products just before us. so we stopped fer like damn long to admire and read the labels. like, oh i just like dove, and ooh anti ageing aye ! so anyway excitedly i bought two bottles of hair stuff, felt very good indeed. i think its the stress yes. but shh, im not admitting it. so yes, then we felt like berrynice yoghurt so happily traipsed down to macs and there, the time flew by just like, -snaps that. seriously, we werent even doing anything to rush time. terrible. anyhoo, conclusion, yash is a fabulous studying partner. oh dig this, shes really weird lah, she wears ear phones fer the "feeling". as in, NO music, no sound, just put on the lil muffs cos she feels good being semi- out of things. take that lah, seriously, ive got strange friends. -shakes head.

`2. tmr im meeting limzhiying & dianangiam fer a studying session ! yes, i love the way the phrase sounds so, noble and conscientious. yes, the three of us will pore over books and hit the notes like theres no tomorrow. ah the thought excites me already. i miss the two, very very very mummphhy much. seeyouuuuuu. (:

`3. just had a dangerous snack. im positive im tripling in size as im digesting it. 've no idea what it is actually, sth my 'rents got back from the thais. its like a bar, chocolatey, sesameny (ooh tricky word) & nutty. tastes pretty darn good but im certain its bound to immediately add ten inches to the waistline. not surprisingly im glad i ate it, happy food ! i like it that sometimes i choose to not see into the future. yes yes, live fer the moment lah. aye lemme steal one bar so my greedy monkey bros wont ravage 'em all. (:

the green grass grows all around, all around, & the green grass grows all around. (:

night, world.
i will awake to a friday, when tomorrow will be a saturday, when tomorrow will be a sunday,
the sunday.

let me go where horses reside. aye.

yesterday i think i died fer a night.

after a bout of disappearing acts we got together again and went to -surprise, surprise ! max brennars; chocolate by the bald man. (:
and partook of hug mugs, fondue, crepe & salami sandwich without salami. and after the fruits, croutons and marshmallows were gone and down, we sipped the chocolate, pure. there were three little crucibles; dark, milk and white. thick and hot, it was, opulence. as i said, i think i died fer a night. then the hug mug, quite without a hug, but still delectable. venezuela dark chocolate, total silencer. & happiness doesnt know how to hide itself so my ecstatic exclamations and wonky expressions were all -tschak ! caught on cam. rarr.

then its was montreux jazz and nice recap (no pun intended) of marathon times, when we rowed under bridges, (some swam) and breeze was nice and chillin'. then there was something nice to show, and blindly i came to something nice. and it was something nice fer the rest of the time. (:

now, elbows six inches from the waist.

come, my fears.
calm my fears.
dont steal away you irresponsible despicable cloud.
take me on,

have you forgotten how i cried, till, when blind, i couldnt see you anymore.
i want it that way.

luciano rocks (: *di. my smile stays on. [©ΦµπCîL] Who You Gonna Call?{[F.b.U.]} says:
hey!
luciano rocks (: *di. my smile stays on. [©ΦµπCîL] Who You Gonna Call?{[F.b.U.]} says:
the yogs i know knows no fear.
ƒly gryphoncanoeist. (( don't make me live for my friday nights )) says:
she does she does
luciano rocks (: *di. my smile stays on. [©ΦµπCîL] Who You Gonna Call?{[F.b.U.]} says:
NO she doesnt.
ƒly gryphoncanoeist. (( don't make me live for my friday nights )) says:
she just doesnt even dare to show it.
luciano rocks (: *di. my smile stays on. [©ΦµπCîL] Who You Gonna Call?{[F.b.U.]} says:
you're an imposter i'm sure.
ƒly gryphoncanoeist. (( don't make me live for my friday nights )) says:
hahahh !
ƒly gryphoncanoeist. (( don't make me live for my friday nights )) says:
silly girl.
luciano rocks (: *di. my smile stays on. [©ΦµπCîL] Who You Gonna Call?{[F.b.U.]} says:
haha. eh really, no fear ok!
luciano rocks (: *di. my smile stays on. [©ΦµπCîL] Who You Gonna Call?{[F.b.U.]} says:
its nothing.
luciano rocks (: *di. my smile stays on. [©ΦµπCîL] Who You Gonna Call?{[F.b.U.]} says:
just paddle.
luciano rocks (: *di. my smile stays on. [©ΦµπCîL] Who You Gonna Call?{[F.b.U.]} says:
ok, erm, its not nothing. but as in,
ƒly gryphoncanoeist. (( don't make me live for my friday nights )) says:
youre damn adorable can i post this on my blog
ƒly gryphoncanoeist. (( don't make me live for my friday nights )) says:
will they outcast you as an nj traitor and stone you
ƒly gryphoncanoeist. (( don't make me live for my friday nights )) says:
if they will i wont post it !
luciano rocks (: *di. my smile stays on. [©ΦµπCîL] Who You Gonna Call?{[F.b.U.]} says:
hahaha.
luciano rocks (: *di. my smile stays on. [©ΦµπCîL] Who You Gonna Call?{[F.b.U.]} says:
no they wont.
ƒly gryphoncanoeist. (( don't make me live for my friday nights )) says:
ah good.
luciano rocks (: *di. my smile stays on. [©ΦµπCîL] Who You Gonna Call?{[F.b.U.]} says:
haha. even if they do, i dont mind cos i mean what i said. (:

and this is why diana ngiam remains my beztar, dear and precious. hahah, the dear thing. -growls. in all honesty, self is very very stressed. its all the, upcoming things.
sometimes, faith isnt enough. and at the end of the day, knowing there are so many others so much more experienced and confident than myself is gonna hurt. and im so afraid to visualise, cos i know what i'll see. and im just unwilling, to accept that. is this even more hurting than the truth, aye. but time is running, fast, and ive been pushing every smidgen that pricks now and then away. i hate this cowardice.

& if you can take it out of me, tell me that youre sure things are gonna go our way, and show me there is a way, then come on take me out. dont tell me as long as its my best because the truth doesnt last as long as that. and reality wont take as long either. tis all, or nothing. this, or hatred. yes, no, no, no.