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| all the pieces, pieces, pieces of me |
| 07.31.04 (11:14 pm) [edit] |
[u]nationals has ended.[/u]
as i type this, im thinking back on wednesday thursday and friday. everything, from my heats to my finals has passed. the fight shown, the enemy within curbed.
thirty minutes before my final race, the race with which i was resolute to be aggressive as seniors have advised, i sat on the sandy ground sheet, visualizing. it didnt matter that the sun was assailin me with scorching ruthless rays. it didnt matter that boys & girls from countless institutions were prattling in the background. it didnt matter that my eyes were stinging with salt. i was sombre and silent. a minute ago lydia & leqi had led us in prayer, & i felt their desire to reign, their thirst to get the title back, & i knew i had to shut all else out, and paddle for all's worth. & so i visualised. in those images i saw the girl next to me fly. in them i pictured myself falling victim to fatigue. and i visualised. fear came, went away, attacked, left. & so i entered the waters of kallang, not after coach whispered into my ear a word. [u][i]kill.[/i][/u]
and i knew it was all or nothing.
thought of the scars they gave me.
thought of gaoshang's race.
thought of next year.
thought of coach.
thought of my parents.
and before i even allowed fatigue to set in,
i had crossed the finishing line, first.
i was wet and salty.
but i couldnt care less.
i fought as a gryphon canoeist, and rowed with aggression.
next year will be better. it'll be our bittersweet victory.
bitter because it'll be our last race, sweet because we know we'd always wanted it, and our seniors had always fought fer it. sweet because we know we deserve it.
[i]
+ rj canoeing team 04/05: [/i] heyy y'all. am mighty proud to be part of the team, and well, what can i say. we'll take it back next year. we will. (:
tis sunday. just came back from training. am racing k2 with partner jiaying. our craft is good stuff. (: competition is on coming saturday and sunday. fly fly.
hence forth commences my triathlon training.
swim cycle run.
i'll go the [i]distance[/i].
fun (:
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| but mostly i hate the way i don’t hate you |
| 07.24.04 (5:42 pm) [edit] |
im online sourcing fer information pertaining to genetically[b]modified[/b ]food, hopefully adequate to render my presentation decent. with lynette, however, i think half the presentations already taken care of. (: astonishingly, the readings did not bore me to slumber, or instigate me to slam frontal on my keyboard, ensuing the siesta with a long bushed snore. im beginning to like gm already, something worth musing upon, wholesome fer the ignoramus almost inherent in each and every one of us, really. it seems rather expedient, the existence and realistic presence of genetic engineering. duties one always found cumbersome to execute, plants farmers always known to be ridiculously tough to grow and as such are now overcome with the fusion, or addition of a gene. tomatoes have become sweeter and prettier, corn more resistant to pests, crunchier as well, grapes so round and without irksome seeds within, and man, grumpier ? ever since the influx of gm monsters, environmentalists and friends of the earth have slammed the projects of genetic engineers, summoning an end to this false and unnatural act of playing god. a plausible improvement of what was before is skeptically dismissed and scoffed at, as feeding the masses is deemed not so much an imperative duty than that of saving the queen, or rather, green. without a doubt there have been sound points made regarding the risks undertaken during the course of the researches and ongoings. yet, nothing ventured, nothing gained. its the same logic being reiterated over and over. some sacrifice has to be made, if any.
[i]sacrifice.[/i] this word suddenly evocative of arthur.
caught it, and as much as im not a fan of gore nor violence, im not a fan of arthur. but but but, keira is beautiful. her beauty matches arthur's valour. lets just keep it there. felt the movie creators could have given the role of arthur to someone with more resonant and booming vocals. like, [b]gibson[/b]. there's a reason why he's starred in so many many many war movies. most, if not all of which leave buffs and non-buffs alike hankering fer more, mel. but im glad. im mighty glad i watched it. thanks youu. 'twas funn. (:
did i mention. went fer movie under the stars with my family yesterday. lasted till midnight, al fresco, on a vast patch of green spreading across marina city park. while screening was punctuated by light drizzle initially, the night turned out lovely, sans-rain, and not less starry. atmosphere grew all schmaltzy whilst [b]love actually [/b]was on. in front of me, four couples cloaked themselves in blankets with occasional movement. wind aerated too, lovely night, actually. (: i love love the one of jamie and aurelia ! [i]it is the saddest part of my day, leaving you.[/i] –melts.
actually i doubt i will be able to do any presentation as i shall be missing the entire week ahead, of school, that is. suddenly i feel sad, not being able to see my team mates, classmates, schoolmates, my teachers. suppose i cant help it, im just channellin all my energies and psyche into rowing. okay this is familiarly passionate.
in my free time, which is non-existant actually, i paddle and punch air. the closer the 28th comes to me, the harder id punch. and the air, will seem ever more stifling and heavier. id like to think water is lighter than air, but no. water is way more stagnant than air is. so i guess, id just have to row, harder, faster, and do so with all my darn strength. its the heat of the heats. the vermillion sizzle of the nationals. give me a power endburst. let me feel the worth of seven bloody months. let me ache fer a cause, and cry of victory. cause guess who's gonna be grovelling next year.
watch it yellows.
we dont save [i]nothing[/i] fer the swim back.
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| com uma forca que ninguem pode matar |
| 07.05.04 (8:33 am) [edit] |
my birds, they extinguished the flame in me.
yes, im speaking of the portu[i]geese[/i].
but of course, away with the heavily discussed topic of balls. my hearts been blown to smithereens. oh well. shall work on my current project. [i]you row 2004[/i].
yayyeah.
training has just got better, with the psyche brewing with vengeance, hot earnest passion to row with utmost gusto. making my t1 flys my sole aim now. to soar on the 28th july. as vc said, this is the race weve all been training so darn pissin hard fer, and where the spectators, friends and relatives alike, shall render both motivation and pressure ignited in ones frame. never thought visualizin would be sucha scary prospect. well, it is. canoeing makes me mad. in all variations of the damn word.
ran the [u][b]beyond streetwise run [/b][/u]yesterday. competitive 10 kliq. met my team mates there. the winners of community spirit, [i]really.[/i] those silly toons wanted me to win cash fer 'em. hahah im just contented with my twenty seventh. (: oh plus im in the [u][b]osim olympic triathlon [/b][/u]. gonna start training after my season. exactly one month to do so. my my, things are getting exciting. oh im in the [u][b]nike realrun 04[/b][/u] too ! and guess when that falls on. go find out lahh, its an extremely significant date. -nods.
school suddenly seems sedentary.
(thats like sibilance, aliteration, and assonance all in one ! )
anyhow.
theres school tomorrow and i cant sleep ! its hardly excitement, really. i think its um. the. hundred. percent. whey. protein.
it tastes horrid even in milo.
the darn powder didnt even dissolve properly and i had to take clumps of agglutinated protein powder amid milo. few things suck that badly. yuck yuck yuck. i feel so. amino acidic. like, unnaturally hyped up. okay im being silly. shall shut up.
ohh westlife melts hearts.[i]
ive made it obvious
done everything but sing it
ive crushed on you so long, but on and on you get me wrong
im not so good with words
and since you never notice
the way that we belong
ill say it in a love song[/i]
its uh, dedicated to [b]ruhaan[/b]. (: who so nicely provided glen&clara&me laser dedications at suntec that night. sinfully pretty they were.
i love that hunk. (:
-sniffs the air-
shacks i smell smoke.
oh naturally, its usher burning.
peaceout curled darlings of our nation. -winks.
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